


I named a parrot after you

by riisinaakka



Category: Black Sails, Treasure Island & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, James is with Thomas and Madi is with her people, John has his inn and the parrot, Longing, M/M, Multi, Other, Sadness, after the TI but it didn't go quite like in the book, because I found that it was easier to put these feelings into words that way, don't mind me I just wanted to wallow in some angst hahahahah, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:28:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29921718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riisinaakka/pseuds/riisinaakka
Summary: A poem where John Silver reminiscences his loved ones after the events of Black Sails and Treasure Island - alone.Well, there's the parrot of course.
Relationships: Captain Flint | James McGraw/John Silver, background James/Thomas - Relationship, background Madi/Silver - Relationship, mentions of James&Miranda etc.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 7





	I named a parrot after you

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this like... two years ago, but it felt a bit too "all over the place" so I just let it brew. I re-read it recently and found that even though this is quite jumbled I still kinda like it, so after a few rounds of edits, I decided to share it anyway :)

I named a parrot after you  
She's curious and green – like an apple in a tree  
And nothing like you, (as none can be like you)  
But what a foul mouth she has – as I would soon come to learn!

I cried myself to sleep that night  
when she merrily threw insults at me  
Not knowing how much it reminded me – of you,  
and it broke my heart once more  
as I would never hear the same – from your precious lips again

I tried to teach her my name the other day  
Hide it in simple shiny words and common names  
Safe and... unremarkable, I thought  
But it hurt too much to bear – and now,  
she sings of pieces of eight instead  
and I go by the name Barbeque

The children on the street bring her gifts:  
little fruits, buns and plants,  
all the same as they titter  
They too call her Captain as I did once to you  
They laugh and thirst for my stories, sea shanties of youth  
– all true in some manner or the other

When the scales glimmer at the bottom of the boat  
shining in the sunlight, moonlight, noonlight  
Do you ever think of me, Captain?  
When the knives slice tender meat  
feeding you and your dear old husband  
somewhere far, far away, I'm sure...  
Do you ever think of me, my throat, my blood in their gills?

Do you despise all the glittery trinkets now,  
some blackened and broken after their use and the inevitable time  
Do you avoid uttering the word they're made of  
– the same and only name you ever used of me,  
other than the profanities in the beginning, of course  
(and the endearments at some point, in our minds at least...)

Does my name ever slither past your tongue  
like the drunken kisses in the laternlit cabin?

I think of you when I lit the fire with steel and stone  
or when a gun goes off in a distance  
I think of you fondly  
when the pots and kettles catch the day's dying light  
just right in their russet glow  
I think of you when the boy called Jim  
steals the treasure we sacrificed so much for  
But on that same fucking island,  
I rejoice how he too, gets to live another day

My life is peppered with your namesakes  
and reminders of my actions and inactions

When you needed a warship – and a friend  
I walked with two legs into the sea after you  
I rose from the death and deep, again and again  
and pulled you up with me, then followed you right into the darkness again  
Warned and welcomed – and so foolishly in love, not yet recognized  
By the end of it, I was standing with a foot short, married to another precious love  
and a heavy unwanted crown on my brow

When we were led to the hungry cannons and betrayals on the shore  
you thought you had lost me, suddenly and without goodbyes  
Like the time you lost your previous partner – and when I lost my freedom to run  
But I came back, to you and to my then-wife,  
Not repeating your ill-fated pattern anymore

More losses and more unending horrors later,  
Another way was forged in secret  
with new and old allies, choosing to carve a life instead  
and some to fight in the shadows for the time being 

My wife never forgave me of course, and I understand that  
but I'm glad she's still alive to hate me  
You predicted it all, in that grim forest of doom  
The comfort would grow stale,  
and it would not be enough to sustain us anymore  
You stated it like all those times when you knew  
the minds of waves and sailoirs  
and read the winds and stars on the open water

We still keep in touch, though, my wife and I,  
unable to leave this torment and loss completely behind  
But your words came true as they tend to do  
and now I'm mostly alone with my inn  
and she's going forward, undoubtedly  
strong and ever persistent as the sea between us  
Fighting for her people and for a better legacy  
with new ideas and growing wisdom and fleet

I miss her, as much as I miss you  
and I'll wait for the day we might meet again

The gallows may greet me first  
Or the final heartbreak end me  
– like what happened to our once-bosun,  
when his ghosts caught him in mid-speech  
and the story he built became a real nightmare

Lost in my thoughts and so, so lost after you two - my twin fires in the dark,  
I talk to my bird, my old friend now, 

I listen to her non-insults and wipe her feces from my shoulder  
little shits, little nuisances, pretty little pieces of peace  
I wait on a cliff – though it's not the same we once danced upon  
with swords and smiles, words and non-lies  
My orbit is broken but I still try to seek  
the two points in space, the unseen behind the horizon

Today our names still roam the seas together – but only in stories  
I sit here and wait, with my long fucking memory  
and a parrot named after you


End file.
